Monday, December 21, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
1. Dragon Age: Origins. So I picked this one up after seeing some reviews online, and I love anything with "dragon" in it. I figured this would be a great game to pass some time in before Left 4 Dead 2 and Assassin's Creed 2 came out. Then I started playing....and 50 hours later I just can't stop playing. Talk about a game that sucks you in. I started out playing as a Female Human Nobel Warrior, and became so engrossed in the storyline I think I may have actually forgotten to eat a few times. As I was playing, I suddenly realized that one of my companions in the game was possibly hitting on me. One of my female companions. Suddenly, I loved this game EVEN MORE. That's right, you can have male or female lovers. And this works if you play as a male character too. Awesome. I found myself playing this game not only for that, but because EVERY decision you make has a consequence. I found myself pausing the game and thinking about my next move and what could possibly happen. And even after I made a decision, I would start thinking about replaying the game and making the OTHER decision. This is what makes this game so damn re-playable, and I can't wait pick it up again in a few months.
2. Assassin's Creed 2. I am not quite done with this game, but I love what I have been playing so far. The developers clearly took the complaints from the last game and fixed what needed to be fixed. The missions are more open, they added a health and money system, and the character is way more likable then Altair in the first one. Oh yeah, and Kristen Bell voices one of the characters. My only complaint are sometimes the controls are a bit finicky, to the point where I start swearing and wanting to throw my control at my tv, and scare my dog.
3. Left 4 Dead 2. I know Kendra, Han, Hayley and I were waiting for this game to come out, and I don't think it disappointed. Yes, it is the same basic play as the first one, and my beloved Francis is not in this game, but overall I find it enjoyable. The melee system take the game to to a different level, and the different ways of doing the finales give it just enough change to make it fun. I really enjoy that you and three friends can form a team and play a random versus game with another random team. That keeps you from having to find 8 people to play with. Kendra, Han, Hayley and I are trying that out tonight to see how it works. Hopefully we won't have our asses handed to us.
The next game I might get is Batman: Arkham's Asylum. I need something to play over winter break, and that looks like it might be the game I buy myself for Christmas. Or Hanukkah, or Winter Solstice. Or just because.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I am pretty sure my Xbox also hates me. A new DLC for Left 4 Dead and I have BARELY played it. I need to set aside some time with Han and Kendra and get back to killing zombies. Not to mention all the music by Queen that just came out on Rock Band 2. *drools* Why I even bother to leave my apartment, I'll never know.
At least I haven't been sucked back into Grey's Anatomy again.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Some people may know, but not many, I didn't have the best family life- It was by no means the worst, but it wasn't great. I still have a decent relationship with my bro and my mom, but that's about it. Which leaves- my father. *sigh* I don't even know how to talk about him. 90% of the time, he is a total bastard. 8% of the time, he's ok, and 2% of the time, I think I might actually not hate him. But that tends to go away very very quickly.
I have a confession to make- the reason I haven't gone to see my new niece? Because I don't want to see my dad. Yep. I just don't. The man has been on me about my weight since I was about 6 years old. I remember my first diet when I was 8, and since then I just know I will never be the daughter he wants me to be. Let's not even get into the gay thing. I am 99% sure I told him once before that I was gay, but I was drunk and I think he ignored me. So we don't talk about it. But my weight? Oh, he will be both passive-aggressive and just plain aggressive about it. I go home, and no matter what we talk about, I feel the weight of his disapproving stare on me at ALL TIMES. I haven't been home since my bro's weddding- July 2007. Isn't that sad? I would love to go to a Thompson Family Christmas or Thanksgiving, but I just can't bring myself to go- and sometimes I am glad that I am working on those holidays. I don't use the word lightly, but sometimes I really hate him. For one- he always treated me worse then Rob. Rob was the boy, and therefore the golden child. Ever single game my brother played in middle/high school, including baseball, soccer, and basketball, my dad was there. Hell, he even COACHED his basketball team for 4 years. Me? I played soccer, basketball, and softball, and if my dad came to 2 games a season it was a lot. He didn't care, he never took me to the baseball fields to work on my fielding or hitting like he did my bro. I had to find my own ride to practices and games EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT in high school. The most embarrassing thing? My own dad not showing up for family night. My mom was in Ohio at this time and Rob was at college- so when they announced my name, no one stood up for me. The worst was my senior year. To this day I still remember turning red and just staring at the ground while my friend's parents tried to make up for it by cheering really loud. So I hate him for that, I hate him for making me feel like less then a person for being overweight, and I hate him for the physical and verbal abuse that used to be almost daily. No matter how successful I am, no matter how many degrees or friends I have, I will also just be his fat, butch daughter. And I hate him most for instilling in me his temper, which my biggest fear is that someday I will lose control on someone who I love- and if that happens I will never forgive myself. So every day I fight for that control.
So that's the bad. The good? I do have friends and family I can count on, and I figured that out the most over the past 9 months. I know many of you would mock my Otalia addiction, but beyond the storyline, it has changed my life. It started small, my twin basically forced me to watch some clips from the show. From there I found the BPD, and I posted occasionally. After a few weeks, I saw someone started a chat room- and I am much more comfortable in a real time chat then I am in a board setting- so I entered- and found a place I belonged. I didn't get along with everyone, but there were a few people I connected with- Shiva, Bronzey, Sang, Engine, Keeva, Beanie, Gidge, Jules- to name a few. Then we discovered Skype, and that first skype chat was a crazy 8 hours long. From then on we couldn't get enough of each other. I found some real friends who were there when they said they would be there. When someone was in trouble and needed money, we would pool together and give it to them. I myself lived on rice and hot dogs for two weeks because someone needed the money more then I did, and I gladly gave it. At the same time, I realized how much I hurting in my current job (without going into details.) I found that not only were my new friends there, but so was Brenda, Nik, and CJ. It dawned on me for the first time that I was not alone. All my life I have done things by myself. I motivated myself, worked 2 jobs to support myself, and basically never counted on anyone. Well, I did once, with an ex, but that didn't work out so well. I swore to myself I would never do that again. But now I realize how wrong that was. No one should be alone
For some reason, Team Midwest-ish has connected. We are not alike- we are different races, religions, sexual orientations, class, and are in various stages of relationships. But yet... we all work. And I love it. I love that the first time I went down to Indy and met Shiva, we instantly connected- there was no awkwardness. Then I met Bronzey, and after one awkward hug, we were cool. Since then, we have added people- Foodie, Torr, Dar, Burke, Nicole, Token, Bash, Indigo, Katie- just to name a few (and there are many, many more, including a great friendship with Team UK). And we all still connect in some odd way. We miss each other all the time, and are planning no less the 3 meetups for us to get there. Right now we are trying to help a member get out of a bad knock off of Deliverance and into a better situation, and everyone wants me out of MI.
I have a new family. And this one doesn't judge me. For the first time, I think I am truly happy.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Today the show was pre-empted by the US Open. Now, I hate tennis with the passion of a thousand suns, so I am currently wandering around my office mumbling "No Otalia? WTF?" I am sure my students think I am insane.
Brenda is giving me the best birthday gift ever- Beatles Rock Band! I CANNOT wait to sit down and play it. I LOVE the Beatles, and from what I have read the it is a pretty sweet game.
So this weekend will be low key. I'm going to play Xbox, then my staff is coming over on Sunday for pancakes and bacon. I know- a very exciting way to celebrate my birthday, but it will be fun nevertheless.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Indiana (Shiva, Nicole, and Michelle)
Tennessee (Katie and Beanie)
Texas (Engine and Sang)
North Carolina (DiNovia and Torrence)
South Africa (Basher)
Yes, that is 19 people total that will somehow be fitting in my apartment. They aren't all sleeping here- most are going to the local hotel, but we are all going to be hanging out at my place to watch the finale of Guiding Light.
I am more excited about that then my 30th birthday. Maybe because i am not doing anything on my actual birthday- most of my friends here bailed on me, so I will spend the day doing what i want- playing xbox and chatting with friends. Maybe a Veronica Mars or Buffy Marathon?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
I am very excited that my twin convinced Nik to get an xbox 360- then I convinced them to get Left 4 Dead and Rock Band 2. Muhahahaha, my evil plan is working! Of course, it just makes me want to move to Missouri someday.
So what is going on in geekdom? A few things, actually. Both Project Runway and Top Chef started last week, and I am thoroughly enjoying both of them. Team Rainbow is back in full force on Top Chef, and hopefully they can survive.
There are many new games coming out this fall, all of which having me drooling. Assassins Creed 2, Bioshock 2, Left 4 Dead 2, and my favorite, Mass Effect 2. So, that this means is that you all will NEVER see me online after 5pm, i'll be gaming.
Guiding Light is coming to an end, and with it, the Otalia storyline. I won't get into my intense dislike of the pregnancy storyline, but I still enjoy the entire show and will stick around for the ride. I also have 17 people coming to see me the weekend of September 18th, including 3 from other countries. It's going to be a huge purple dreams blast, and I can't wait.
Last but not least, I turn 30 in about 3 weeks. And no, this doesn't terrify me. I am just impressed that I lasted 30 years on this planet. Go me!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
First off, I want to say I am not sorry to be the person you raised me to be or for who I am today. I am proud to be me, but in that process of being me, I know that I caused you a lot of pain and heartache, and so that is what this letter is about.
I am sorry I was never the girly-daughter you wanted me to be. I’m sorry that we never talked about boys and first dates and everything else that moms hope they do with their daughters. Even today I am hesitant to talk about my dating life, because I know deep down inside it’s not what you want for me.
I’m sorry that even something as simple as clothes shopping was difficult. I know you tried your best to get me into cute outfits and frilly dresses and wanted to show off your pretty, feminine daughter. That was never me. I’m sorry that every shopping excursion up until I was 15 was a long-drawn out process in which I wanted to shop in the boys section and you dragged me into the girls section. Even today, when I come home with a new shirt or pants or tie, I see, for split second, the shame and pain that you have for raising a butch daughter.
I am sorry I will never give you the big white wedding that you want. I know you had saved your wedding dress for me, but you know I will never wear it. Even if, by some chance, I manage to find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, we will never have the wedding that my brother had. Oh, I know you and Robert and Robbie and some of the family would show up, but I know there is ½ the family that would not. I know that the family friends you and dad would normally go running to talk about the wedding to would not be receptive, even if you told them. You will probably mention something in passing, if you do at all. In your eyes, it will never be a “real” wedding. You made that very clear at Robbie's wedding that family members need to be married into the family, and although I know you didn't mean it the way it sounded, I am still hurt by that.
You made that very clear at Robbie's wedding that family members need to be married into the family, and although I know you didn't mean it the way it sounded, I am still hurt by that.
I am sorry that I am not the daughter you asked for, but I am proud to be the daughter you got. I hope someday, you are too.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
The show this time? Guiding Light. Yes, a soap opera. I swore off soap operas after All My Children pretty much butchered Bianca’s character and relationships. So when Brenda kept telling me to check out GL for their lesbian-like storyline, I balked for a good 2-3 weeks. Finally I started reading articles and stuff about it on AfterEllen, and decided to check it out. Wrong Move.
2 days and many YouTube hours later I was HOOKED. I mean really, really hooked. I found out this storyline has been playing out since January 2008- that’s right- for OVER A YEAR. What show does that? These two women (Olivia and Natalia, aka Otalia) used to enemies, then slowly became friends, and now maybe more then just that. And the crazy thing? No one seems to care. I don’t mean the les/bi women (because we certainly DO care), but the other viewers aren’t all up in arms over 2 supposedly straight women falling in love with one another. After much research and thought, I realized that no one cares because the writing is so well done, and the groundwork laid so thoroughly, that it just seems like an almost natural conclusion. LOVE IT.
Besides all of that, there are a few other reasons I am now in love. First, the writing is pretty much fantastic. Not just for those two, but the humor is great. Usually soap operas are so damn dramatic, but there are some awesome one-liners that have me cracking up. Second, the woman who plays Olivia, Crystal Chappell is an awesome actress. Her facial expressions are spot on and show so much emotion. Third, it's nice to see a "coming out" story so to speak that doesn't involved two teenagers. It is two grown women having grown up conversations. A nice change. And last, there is a very active fan base out there that I tentatively stepped into this weekend- and now I have gone over to the dark side. Anyone want to join me for the ride?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
1. Last week was Spring Break, so I had a very light schedule, and therefore could game until my heart's content.
2. My gaming friends keep telling me about these great games, and I of course succumb to peer pressure to go and get them. Thanks Han. I blame my Mass Effect addiction on you. You kept telling me what a great game it was so I just HAD to go get it.
I have played through the game twice, so I am done for awhile. I don't want to get sick of it, so I promised myself at least a month's break. What makes this game so addicting? A few things:
1. It has a great storyline, and that's not something I can say about a lot of games. The storyline actually had me paying attention, and half the time I forgot I was playing a game.
2. The open ended play was fabulous. You could just do the storyline, or fly around the galaxy doing various side quests. And the graphics of the planets were unbelievable.
3. The AI companions were hilarious. The designers did an awesome job of integrating your companions with actual personalities, and they would say the randomest stuff, especially in elevators.
4. The romance subplot. You had the chance as a female character to romance a "monogendered" species. But let's be real- they were all female- called each other "daughter" and holy racks batman- I think that Bioware just used "monogendered" to keep the Focus on the Familiy groups away. But it was tastefully done and I appreciated it.
My next post- How Brenda addicted me to Guiding Light and Otalia.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I was angry because for about a month it's been this Who's balls are bigger" contest between Hosea and Stephan, and Carla has just been doing her thing and cooking "with love." It was refreshing to see someone who just wanted to do well, not necessarily beat the other contestants to a pulp.
At first, when I saw that Casey was going to help, I was excited. UNTIL Casey opened her trap and started giving Carla advice about what to cook. Then I wanted to yell at Carla for LISTENING to Casey. *sigh* Disappointing.
I bet that Carla will be very successful though, in her restaurant. She has the personality to draw people in. It still doesn't make me love Hosea any more.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Now that I have completely gone off topic, today's post is about video games. I played a few different ones this weekend and decided to share my thoughts on them.
Team Fortress 2 (on The Orange Box):
I managed to hook up with about 11 other people to play the various types of games on TF2. It was a decent game, with cartoonish type graphics that made the game very fun. No one took it real seriously, and although it took some false starts to figure out what the hell was going on, we took it stride. There are some people that I was very good at playing, such as the Engineer (I tend to be very devious when setting up the mini-gun and portals), the Pyro (I don't know what that says about me that I enjoyed setting the other team on fire), and the Soldier (long range missiles worked quite well for me). The people I didn't so great on were the Scout (moved too quickly for me to be any good), the Spy (I may be devious, but not THAT devious) and the Medic (too boring for me to run around healing people.) I also suck at capture the flag, but do pretty well at the well points and other games.
Lego Indiana Jones:
Ok, normally I LOVE the Lego series, but I just could not get into this game. Maybe it's because the only movie I know really well is The Last Crusade. Sometimes the controls drove me nuts, and I am not much of a puzzle person, so trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do next sucked. I ended up taking the game back to blockbuster.
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2.
The reason I rented this game (as I previously had no interested in ANY of the Tom Clancy games) was because my friend Kendra was trying to find a good co-op game with an actual story that the two of us could play. I discovered that I really enjoyed playing this game- it was fun to play with someone on the same skill level as me, and although we died quite a few times, we managed to get through the game in two days. We plan on playing it again, and we also had fun playing some of the 4 player games with other people. I might actually purchase this game later, if I find the replay value to be there. I also enjoyed that you could be either a male or female operative in this game (although they made her look ridiculous with all the equipment on- holy huge hips batman!
One of the main things I discovered over this weekend is that having a good solid group of friends to game with is crucial. I have tried playing with random people online in the past, and although not all of the experiences have been bad, most of them are not very good. I find that I run into 3 main problems (at least for me).
The first being that most games don't allow you to find people who are the same skill level you are on. So what ends up happening is that you either are way above the people you play with or way below. Either option is not very fun. If you are of the higher skill, you end up dominating the others, and can get bored quickly. If you are way below, then you get frustrated easily and may get harassed by the other players until you quit. What's the fun with that? And how hard could be be to set up those options in games? Even in TF2 when you don't play a "ranked match", you end up playing with people who aren't in it for fun, but just want to dominate people who suck. I really disliked the poor sportsmanship that is displayed. I am very glad that Kendra and I found each other to play with, as we both have the same skill level and temperament for games- and tend to enjoy the same ones.
The second problem is that once they find out you are a girl, it's like the Dumbass Switch is activated in guys heads. All of the sudden they think you can't play, and are totally patronizing. Then, if you happen to be decent, 2 things happen- you either are not a girl and are having your brother play through the hard parts, or something is wrong with their controller, game, it glitches, etc. Very rarely do they actually say anything like "good job" or whatnot.
The third problem is that once they find out you are not only a girl, but a lesbian, the Dumbass Switch is then revved up to the Dumbass Homophobic Switch. So, not only are you a woman (which is bad enough) but apparently you are a man-hating bitch. It's at this point I either quit the game or switch off my mike, because there is only so much "you must be a fat bitch" and "I'll show you a real man" and other derogatory comments.
I am very lucky that thanks to AfterEllen and the Gay Girls Who Game Vlog that I met some other people (not all are lesbians or even women) that are decent to play with. What makes me sad, though, are the lesbians/bi women who perhaps are foraying into the world of xbox live, and may end up quitting because they can't find people to play with or are getting harassed too much. Even the women-only group on xbox live, GamerChix, is not always an opening and welcoming place. I have observed that the lesbian posts get deleted or are monitored quite closely- and if anything somewhat inappropriate is written, the post is gone. I find there is a double standard, as I have seen posts by straight women who are much more graphic that nothing is ever said too. My hope is that we will find those lesbian/bi women who want to play, and be open and welcoming to them in whatever games they like to play. Here's to hoping.
Friday, February 20, 2009
It was a good vacation. We managed to watch three seasons of Bad Girls in about 5 days. I am pretty impressed with myself. My staff also came over for dinner and to play Rock Band 2. I have some pretty hilarious video of it, including backup dancers, if anyone wants to see it.
I was asked what I think about Dollhouse, and now that I have a week to process, I think I can write about it. Here are some thoughts about it.
1. First off, I enjoyed it. It was a good first episode, and it it set up both the plot and some mysteries for episodes to come.
2. I liked that Eliza Dushku's character Echo wasn't a kick ass- beat-em-up chick right away. Instead, she played someone with genuine emotion and foibles.
3. I miss the characteristic Joss Whedon humor, but I don't know if this show is appropriate for it.
4. What's up with the scars on Amy Acker's character's face? I'm intrigued!
5. The ending was also fabulous and makes me watch this weeks- that's how I know it's a good show.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday: At Ihop, we played "Ask the waitress to pick a number." I picked 5, Brenda picked 4, and the waitress's number was 7. Winner: Dany.
Thursday: None- we ate on campus so my dining dollars paid for everything. Winner: TIED.
Today: At The Grand Coney, we played "Rock Paper Scissors," best 2 out of 3. First round: Brenda- Paper, Dany- Scissors. Second Round: Brenda- Scissors, Dany- Paper. Third round: Brenda- Scissors, Dany- Rock. Winner: Dany
Grocery Store: We split the cost of the groceries. Winner: Tied
So far, Wisconsin hospitality has won one. Stay tuned for updates.
Friday, February 6, 2009
UNTIL Brenda decided to tell me she would be paying for things while she was here. Clearly, Ms. Brenda doesn't know the hospitality of those who hail from Wisconsin. We don't allow our guests to buy things for us. So this has made us argue back and forth, until we came to an agreement. A compromise, you can say.
Anytime we are at the checkout line or the waitress is there, we will play a game to see who shall pay. These games include, but are not limited to:
2. Rock, Paper, Scissors
3. Guess the number (We would ask the waitress to think of the number)
4. Thumb War.
6. Gestures (or Charades)
7. A staring contest
8. Pirates vs. Ninjas (I am not sure how this would work, but it would be fun to play)
10. Pin the Tail on the Donkey
What other games could we play while at the store or restaurant?
Monday, February 2, 2009
TV Show Portion:
Usually September is when all the good shows start on TV. Not true anymore. Besides the wonderful new summer offerings that have become the norm- now winter is starting to get into the groove.
Case in point- new shows that started last week, this week, and next week. Let’s have a fanaticalgeek rundown, shall we?
1. Lie to Me- I have only seen one episode, but it’s pretty good. It’s about interrogation and being able to tell if someone is lying. Hopefully it will keep doing well.
2. Medium- I LOVE this show. I just wonder why it’s only starting in January, because I know it gets good ratings and whatnot. Patricia Arquette is awesome, and for an older woman she is a hottie.
3. Dollhouse- I have talked about this before. I bow down before the greatness that is Joss Whedon, so I already love it.
Video Game Portion:
Now, I might be admittedly new to Xbox live, but I am pretty sure human decency shouldn’t have gone out window when you put on that headset. Here are the two examples I have had in the past 2 weeks:
A. While playing “Uno” I was both sexually harassed and harassed for being gay. Yes, I do mean the card game of numbers and colors. First I was harassed for being a girl- and asked if I was “hot” and would “do” guys I talked with on live. Then they found out I was gay (you think my gamertag ButchDany would be a clue) then they started saying things that, even with freedom of speech, I choose not to put on my blog. Needless to say, it was graphic and disturbing.
B. While playing “Left 4 Dead” with random dudes I was also sexually harassed.Check out Lesbian Gamers for an article I wrote that got published:
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
1. I am very pumped that Dollhouse by Joss Whedon is starting on February 12th. And best of all? My twin will be here so we can squeeee like the fan girls we are. Eliza Dushku… yummy.
2. I fell in love with the show “Bones” all over again on New Years Day. While I was rejuvenating from the previous night’s imbibitions, I watched the Bones marathon. With the exception of what they did to Zach Addy’s character (really- a serial killer? REALLY?) I love the writing and acting on the show. I only started watching it because David Boroanez was on, but it’s actually a really good show.
3. I was reading an article on “Shows you can’t believe you watched as a child” and it got me thinking. Here are a list of bad shows I used to watch:
a. Small Wonder
b. Out of This World
c. Anything on TGIF
d. Highway to Heaven
f. The Commish
g. Married…with Children
I am pretty sure the only shows I would watch now are Anything on TGIF and The Commish. I still can’t believe that my parent let me watch Married With Children when I was 9. That is a list of seriously bad television. Anyone else want to put their list of shows?
4. I have a current obsession with NCIS. No real reason why- I just love it.